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One striking thread through the letters was how frequently there had been a fatal breakdown in the delicate mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship.

Even in the happiest of families it can be a complex, sometimes competitive relationship, and when babies are born most daughters instinctively turn to their own mothers for support.

When our grandson was born, it was without doubt one of the happiest days of our lives.

For many isolated older people, especially if they are bereaved, their grandchildren are literally a lifeline.Abbie, for example, wrote to say how much her son’s family had depended on her when their son was born.And how delighted and fulfilled that had made her feel.It feels like a bereavement, especially on birthdays and at Christmas when I long to watch my granddaughters opening their presents.‘I hope some day I will be allowed to see the girls and be a proper nan again.’Gloria has two grandsons aged five and 21 months, yet she and her husband haven’t seen the elder boy since he was eight months old and have never met the younger, even though they were living nearby until recently.Sadly, difficulties with her daughter-in-law have led to an estrangement from her son as well as her grandsons.‘As soon as our first grandson was born, our relationship with our daughter-in-law changed.Bristol Support Group founder Jane Jackson is an expert in this situation.


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